the Hole in my Bucket

Injury two months ago.

Specialist Dr (good doctor by the way, I like her) referred me for physical therapy. Physical therapy wouldn't schedule me because they don't accept my government-funded insurance for those without money, unless the patient has such insurance through a specific program which apparently I don't.

Millions of phone calls later to multiple phone numbers associated with the government-funded insurance in order to ask a few questions and update my address.

Called Drs office to tell them the physical therapy place wouldn't take me. Was hoping they would refer me someplace else. Receptionist said: well now it's your job to find a physical therapy place that will take you. Once you've found one, call us back and we'll refer you to them.

Had no idea where to start.

Family member suggested I call a local community clinic to get a recommendation-to ask them if they knew any such place-since such a clinic deals with low-income persons and might know a place that accepts such types of insurance. Receptionist at clinic told me I'd have to make an appointment with one of the doctors there who could then refer me somewhere. I said I'd call back. Decided to go ahead and make such an appointment. Called back. This time the receptionist told me I should just contact my own doctor, (the one mentioned at the beginning of this whole thing). hanks for the advice (sarcastic). 

Called random physical therapy place. They don't accept my government-funded insurance for those without money, unless the patient has such insurance through a specific program which apparently I don't.

Whole thing reminds me of this song:

There's a Hole in My Bucket - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbmPhba--No

is contraception really about gender battle?

I am really bugged by how people speak of contraception as if it is a "woman's issue."

The thing is, if a woman conceives a child, a man becomes a father.
If a woman does not conceive a child, neither has the man with whom she was involved fathered a child.
Conception, parenthood, contraception, all of these involve two people. (three, actually, if we include the child.)

The assumption in debates regarding contraception repeatedly seems to be that "men" are the ones that don't want women to use contraceptives. If someone is against contraception, then people who are for it are like "Oh, you think her body should be owned by her husband." Where did this assumption that the husband (or boyfriend) of the woman in question wants her to become pregnant?
Why forget that some women might want to become pregnant?

There are men who want to be fathers, and women who want to be mothers. There are men who do not want to father a child, and women who do not want to conceive a child.
There are couples who agree that they do not want children (or more children, or do not want children yet), there are couples who agree that they want children, there are also instances where the man wants a child and the woman does not, there are instances where the woman wants a child and the man does not.
There could be cases where a husband pressures his wife to refrain from contraceptives. (I don't know of instances of this, but it is a possibility)
There could just as easily be cases where a husband is the one who pressures his wife to keep using contraceptives.

(there are polls that show a lot of women have lied or would lie, saying they were "on the Pill" in order to get pregnant.) http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-203303/To-tell-truth-women-lie.html
http://www.angryharry.com/reWomenLieCheatSteal.htm

https://nationalparentsorganization.org/blog/21034-study-one-third-of-college-women-lied-about-contraception-use

Acting as if anti-contraception is taking the side of the man against the woman, is drastically over simplifying things.

Better name

I've got a blog with another name that you guys are welcome to check out:  http://lackingspiration.blogspot.com/

Gay Marriage? Wrong Question?

There is a lot of talk about same-sex marriage (a better term than "gay marriage." I just used the former for its search phrase value.) People argue about whether same sex marriage is licit, is okay. But we should be asking a slightly different, more basic question: Is sex between persons of the same sex (confusing sentence) okay?

I read an article (I forget the name) by someone about whether the purpose of marriage is procreation. But the first question to ask is, Is the purpose of sex procreation? Everyone knows yes, that is it's biological purpose. Procreation is the reason humans have sexual instincts in the first place.
That being said, Is it ethical to engage in non-procreative sex? More specifically, is it ethical to engage in sexual-type action with someone of your own gender? This is sex that is not geared towards procreation at all. One could question whether it should be given the same name. Sex between persons of opposite gender who are infertile is not the same.

I am not presenting an argument as to what is moral or immoral. I am simply presenting the correct questions that should be asked. I have my views, but this article is not about them.

If you determine that same-sex sex is licit, is moral, okay things are simple for you. If you are uncertain, or think it is not moral, there is still another question.

The next question is: What is the relation of sexual actions to marriage? Are sexual actions intrinsic to marriage? Essential to marriage, I should say. Or rather, is the morality of possible sexual actions essential to marriage? This last question means that, even if the couple does not actually engage in sexual actions, is it necessary that it would be morally okay for them to do so? Is the moral correctness of the potential (even if not carried out) sexual actions between them necessary for marriage?
Strangely, I have never heard anyone raise this question.

I am not referring to whether sex is essential or is the most important part of the emotional relationship between the spouses. Many married couples say that it is not the most essential part of their relationship. But it is presumed that it is normally there, or at least the potential for it.

Everyone seems, however, to already agree that the sexual act  is so essential to the definition of marriage, that in the case of marriage between two persons between whom sex is unthinkable, marriage is also unthinkable. For instance, marriage between brother and sister, marriage between an adult and child, etc. We're not forcing spouses to have sex with each other. However, no one may marry if sex between them is absolutely wrong and immoral.
Everyone seems implicitly to agree on this. However, I am surprised at never having heard it discussed.

If sexual intercourse is essential to the nature of marriage, than the question of the licitness of same-sex marriage depends on the licitness of same-sex intercourse.

Only Person

There is only one person around whom I live in the moment. Around whom I LISTEN to what he is saying, hanging on his every word, without the noise of my own thoughts in the background. And he listens to me. He doesn't say a lot; just a few words; he listens. And I listen to his silence, to his few words, to his sounds when he understands. And I sense everything he is feeling.

Super Short Post About Nothing Important

Good News,
Based on perusal of other blogs, this one will keep getting better and better as the months go by.
Actually, this should have happened already.   :(   

Aspergers?

So,
I am now 99.9% sure I have Aspergers.
I didn't believe the people who told me so. I scored NT (neurotypical) on the online test I took.
Then I found this site:
http://aspergersgirls.wordpress.com/2012/02/10/aspergers-traits-women-females-girls/
And I recognised myself in basically everything she wrote. Actually, it explains a lot about my life. Maybe I will write more about this later.

New Job

New Job. This is both the best job in the world, and the worst.'
Yes, that means I'm caring for babies and toddlers. They are great. The job would be great if my boss understood toddlers, and if things were set up correctly for them...

a Cold

I have a cold. Maybe it's the result of emotionally powerful stuff this week.
I don't so much mind being sick, but I had to miss a spiritual reading group I go to on Thursdays. We read from the writings of Luisa Picarretta.
I also wanted to ask Father for advice about something.
And I was looking forward, socially, to seeing some people. A rare thing, as there are very few people I actually enjoy being around. Only one, really, discounting some people who are no longer in my life and who I will never see again. No, that one person isn't one of the persons  at the meeting. So the social part is only a minor disappointment.
I'm mostly disappointed to miss the evening of reading Luisa. Yes, I can read on my own, but I get extra insights with Father.
And I wanted his advice.
I could have gone, but I didn't want to give the cold to the people I carpool with.
Well, it's all in God's Will.

Unemployed Part 1

Here I am unemployed again. I've been out of work for three months.

Sign that I am a total pushover: Who on earth, when being fired for a totally ridiculous reason, tells their boss "Yes, you're doing the right thing. I probably agree with you."
Who tries to comfort their boss who is having emotional difficulty firing them?
Yes, me. World's number 3 Pushover. Why #3? Number 1 seemed too ambitious, and i didn't want to hurt the feelings of the person who might be number 1, or the feelings of the person who thinks they might be number 2.

Bro. Stanley of Divine Mercy link

Bro. Stanley of Divine Mercy:

'via Blog this'

For anyone who saw my Last post

Which was a while ago...I've been neglecting this blog...
This post is due to a family member who was all critical because I sent him a link to the blog by Steve Gershom ("Catholic, Gay, and Feeling Fine). For any one who's wondering, Steve Gershom (and I,) believes and follows the teachings of the Catholic Church in all area's of ethics and morality!  People only mthink otherwise about him if they didn't actually read any of his articles (and if you disagree with him, read some of his articles anyway: they're very good, and excellent writer and philosopher.)
This is in response to that family member. Actually, that family member doesn't read my blog, either. Just shouting into the air, here.

Catholic, Gay, and Feeling Fine » Learning How to Touch

Catholic, Gay, and Feeling Fine » Learning How to Touch:

'via Blog this'

cool article

My Quality

I was thinking one of my best qualities is that I never get mad at a child. But come to think of it, I rarely get mad at anyone.

This is sort of non-sequitur, but
What happened to all my Russian viewers?

O Barren one

I've come to the realization that I'll probably never have a family.
Various things all added together.
27 and never been asked out by a guy. A pattern of them never interested in me. They don't see me that way or show any interest. (except older married men. Purely innocent, interest, of course. They all love to tell me about their kids.) As for the rest, Never, ever.
Just something about my personality?
And yet, it's not as if I've always been that interested in all of them.
Only one seemed to see me differently than all others saw me. He saw me as so special. He was so different, himself, no one in the world quite the same, a universe unto himself.
Was there at one time any desire on his part for something other than friendship? Maybe? I'll never know now. Maybe it doesn't matter.
He seemed to see me as special. That doesn't have to be in the context of boyfriend/girlfriend stuff. So, it doesn't matter. Could something else have come about? Does it matter? What matters is what did happen, what did exist, the moments and friendship we really did share.
Exactly how special was I to him? I don't know. Don't know exactly how much. But to some degree, yes.
It doesn't matter how he sees me then or now. One thing matters: he is special. He is special and I'm not about to forget that.
Now I have stopped feeling attracted to men. It's been that way for a number of months. Part of me is too dried up.
I always thought if I was in the world, I 'd have lots of kids. Still am happy, because of Christ in my soul.


"For it is written: "Rejoice, O barren woman, who bears no children; break forth and cry aloud, you who have no labor pains; because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband."

perfume, deer, new stuff, etc.

I did something new last week, and bought perfume. I was at this store/salon for no particular reason other than that I'd taken a walk in that direction and like to pop into places like that to try free samples of stuff. Went to the perfume section and out of curiosity I sprayed some tester bottles onto the stand to smell. !!! Almost blew my nose out. Don't stand too close to those things!
One of the brands was named poison, a name which aptly described the sensation my nose was experiencing.
There was one, exactly one, that I really liked. It breathed many things and had warmth. There were many elements to the smell. They say vanilla is attractive. I never understood that until smelling this scent and recognizing it within the perfume.
I decided to do something new, just this once, and buy the stuff. No reason that makes sense. I don't really want anyone i know to smell it on me. The only person who took happy  notice of little things about me is someone I no longer see. So it was an entirely self-gratifying decision. Except that I'm wearing it when I sneak to a Perpetual Adoration chapel  in the middle of the night.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monstrance :)  Which makes the perfume special. :)
By the way, some use vanilla to attract deer. Pure-no corn syrup vanilla might repel mosquitoes. Neither is an issue where I live now, but if I ever move back home (northeast PA) ti might be interesting to test. Although there's minimal need to attract deer even if you're hunting since in some places deer arte breathing down people's necks.

emotions

Even when I'm sad, deep deep down, something in me is always incredibly happy. This thing is the knowledge of God.
Don't underestimate my sadness. I've leaned over the cliffs of despair. There was that one day in the recent past when suicide really appeared as the happiest option.  Only Our Lady (Jesus' Mom) was there to save me from that. She was there. I couldn't speak to the one friend who has always been able to lift me up.
I've leaned over the cliffs of despair. But sadness will all pass away. The happiness is deeper and more substantial. There's a lot more happiness.
Far more happiness.

students of various ages

One of my middle school students has a teeny little crush on me. It's not subtle at all. Thankfully, he seems happy rather than heartbroken.
And, even though it's weird and disconcerting it's somewhat flattering.
Isn't that horrible, sad, and deserving of pity...to be flattered by the attention of a middle schooler? Am I that hard up for attention?
I'm sticking to first graders from now on. They give me lots of attention, consisting of hugs, hugs and hugs, and portable whiteboards on which they've written how much they love me alongside a charming expressionist portrait

Man, I'm Getting Sentimental Lately

As usual, click on the words below to be directed to the appropriate links
Scientists Find Proof of True Lasting Love | Gimundo | Good News... Served Daily:
You may have to wait a few minutes on the site below before seeing hte article, but it's worth it
Til Death Do Us Part: The World’s Longest Married Couple… [PHOTOS]:

'via Blog this'

quote

"Promise me you won't forget me, because if I thought you would, I'd never leave." (From Winnie the Pooh)